And on Saturday
by Rob

If Saturday's are going to be this busy, at least the activities and the schedule will be predictable.

Nate auditioned for the Capital District Youth Choral this morning. CDYC, as it's usually referred to around here, has been around for about 25 years now. The founder and director, Diane Warner, is easily one of the most respected choral experts in this region. Years ago, after observing her teaching as part of an assignment for one of my graduate classes, I contacted her and requested more opportunities to observe her. She was very kind and gladly allowed me to watch her work with several choral groups at Schenectady High School. Hers are not your average high school choirs.

I have known about CDYC since that time, but in the balance of things, it just has not seemed that we could handle the commitment required for one of our kids to be in this group. The schedule requires a weekly Saturday morning rehearsal and two concerts each semester. Singers are admitted only after an audition. There is a "tuition fee" each semester, in addition to the cost of the music, and the clothing, and the tickets for concerts. I don't feel that the time and financial cost are unreasonable considering the level of the group; however, it's not something to enter into lightly.

But now that Nate is at Tech Valley High School, we have to find ways to provide for his music education and experiences. I want to be sure that he has a solid choral experience, and so CDYC has suddenly become an "obvious choice."

We were told that Nate's audition would be at 9:30, and that we would know the results of the audition right away. If he was granted admission into the group, he was expected to go directly from the audition into the rehearsal that was starting at the same time. When we were escorted to the audition room, I was told that I was allowed to remain with him, or I could wait outside. He told me to leave. I was neither hurt, nor surprised.

When he emerged from the room about 7 minutes later, he was beaming. In his hand was a slip of paper that he was joyfully waving about, "I'm in!" he said adding, "And I get to sing alto!" I love so many things about Nate, and this response demonstrates what I consider to be one of his finest qualities. He is not bothered by, and in fact can appreciate, some things that would threaten other boys. All last year at Schalmont he complained about how impossible it was to sing the "baritone" parts that he was assigned. He asked to sing with the altos and was flatly denied the opportunity by his director who told him, "You don't want to sing with all the girls!" (Sigh). Clearly, this is a different opportunity. When I asked what comments he'd received from the gentleman who conducted the audition, Nate said, "He wrote one word on my audition form, 'terrific!'"

When Nate came out of the rehearsal an hour and a half later, he was equally joyful. He loved singing with a group of kids who want to work. He loved Mrs. Warner's style and pace for leading the group. He loved the music.

At this point, the schedule doesn't look like it will overwhelm us. His first concert, on the afternoon of October 5, will take place during a youth group event. He'll have to miss it. He wasn't happy about it, but he didn't complain for long. After that event, the next concert will take place on the weekend of December 6 and 7. The group will perform 3 concerts with the Albany Symphony Orchestra at the Palace Theatre in Albany that weekend. When I told Nate, it was like he'd hit the big time.

I guess if he can't be in a chorus at school, this will do.

This afternoon, Abbie had her first soccer game of the season. Hannah rained on the entire game, but it didn't seem to affect the play very much. Her coach, Bart, is the same as her first two years, although, many of the girls who played during the last two seasons are not on the team this year. Abbie's experience is showing now, and she played almost the entire game. It's also noticeable to see how much more confident she is now. She sticks to opponents like a mosquito, and she seems to know just where to put herself in order to shut down the other players. Her team didn't win this afternoon, which is a first, but she didn't seem affected by the loss. She did try to analyze the situation after the game though, and she came to the conclusion that the experience level of the other team was much greater than her own.

Last evening was her first "Sabre City." This is an event that takes place each month at the middle school. Each year, the sixth graders have their own Sabre City at the end of this first week of school; later this month, all 6,7 and 8th graders will be permitted to attend. The two hour event takes place on the first floor of the middle school. There's open basketball in one half of the gym and a dance in the other. Down the hall, at the cafeteria, there's food and ping-pong and air hockey tables.

I made sure to get my name on the list of chaperons for last night's event. I wanted to be sure to be there so that I would be able to have a first hand account of how it is being run. Even though we got a sense of things when we chaperoned several times when Nate was in sixth grade, we have heard that structure can change significantly from year to year. I feel confident that this year's parent planners are taking the rules and the supervision duties pretty seriously.

Abbie was funny about me chaperoning. When I first announced that I would be there, she certainly was not celebratory, but she didn't waste any time complaining about it either. But yesterday afternoon, as I picked her up from the babysitter, she started to explain to me how things needed to go for the evening. And she started with my clothing. "You are not wearing that." Now I'll admit that I don't belong in any fashion magazines, but my generic sort of work outfit, khaki pants, a solid colored short sleeve shirt, and a necktie, isn't either remarkably bland or scene-stealing. Nonetheless, she was insistent, and she announced that she would be picking out my clothing instead.

Now I struggled to decide what to do about this; after all, what kind of man allows his children to order him about, telling him what he can and cannot wear? On the other hand, did I need to be so much in control of things that I couldn't allow her to own this event, even if that meant allowing her a bit too much control? I finally relented, sort of, allowing her to determine my pants (jeans) while I selected my own t-shirt (she had suggested two others that I didn't want to wear). In the end, part of my submission came from the realization that we are always telling her what she can wear and what she cannot. Ultimately, I don't want her to think that she has equal say in matters; however, I'm not above modeling cooperative behavior.

Throughout the evening she vacillated between calling me, "Daddy," and pretending that she didn't know me. I was, at the very least, a convenient source for snack money and a place to leave her sweatshirt.

The whole affair was tolerable, but it was one of those parent things that makes you feel old and old-fashioned. The kids were absolutely nuts. If I had a dollar for every, "walk, please!" I uttered, we'd be able make an extra car payment. Some of those kids went back and forth between the gym and the cafeteria all night long. By 9:00, they were dripping with sweat, and had probably logged a couple of miles.

I found the music insufferable. And who, in their right mind, thinks that it's okay for sixth grade kids to be singing and dancing to "I Kissed a Girl"?

I also found myself a bit more tuned into the business of sixth grade girls. I have confidence that most of them will ultimately be alright, but I wouldn't want to walk in their flip-flops, not for anything. Fortunately, if any of them have taken notice of boys, they weren't willing to step out of their little, giggling circles of friends to do anything about it.

And the boys were even more oblivious. Watching their silly, rough and tumble sort of interactions reminded me of Nate's first Sabre City. The realization that that event took place three years ago was suddenly and surprisingly emotional for me. How did we pass completely through middle school so quickly? And the little boy of that time is changing so quickly that, except for standing in that gym, remembering him and his friends, I had all but lost sight of him. And worse for me now, how quickly will this new stage pass by? I realize that many people might think that I'm silly for feeling this way, but I'd simply be lying if I denied that this is what I'm experiencing.

This is a exceptional fall for our family. We didn't just start school again; both kids have entered a significant new phase of their lives. And so, Kim and I feel as though we have too. I'm happy to report that both kids have had a very positive first couple days at school. Nate is thrilled about Tech Valley. On Thursday night he was buzzing about his first day, and when he went to bed he told me, " I don't know what we're going to do tomorrow, but I just can't wait to get there." Abbie's response wasn't as enthusiastic, but it has also been very positive.

As I finish for now, I wonder how often I'll get to jot things down this year. It's hard to blog all of the time, but considering how I'm feeling about the changing lives of our kids, it seems more important now than ever.